When you are pregnant the first time, you go get a book or you go online, and you read lists of ninety million symptoms. Most of these symptoms you will never experience. Unless you get pregnant five times in a decade, in which case you're going to collect them like a game of Pregnancy Pokemon. And I'm not sure what happens when you catch a Pokemon, but it's probably more fun than, say, a nosebleed. That's an actual pregnancy symptom. I had it with Genome.
as we near the home stretch of Pending's in utero time, let's review the
way each little angel was special to me, even though I couldn't
identify their ultrasound photos from a line up.
What was it? Double vision.
Which kid? First.
is it weird? Apparently pregnancy makes your muscles relax. Even the
eye muscles. Which you probably don't spend a lot of time thinking
about, but just so you know, they exist. And if they get too que pasa
you will need to consciously bring things back into photos.
What was it? Nose bleeds.
Which kid? Second.
is it weird? Because a fetus in nowhere near the nose. What the heck?
Absent a tumor or getting socked in the face, adults should not have
bloody noses. It's especially creepy to have one while sleeping and wake
up to a pillow that looks like you were murdered on it.
What was it? Going postdates.
Which kid? Third.
is it weird? Because no one else even made it to 39 weeks, meaning my
third child cooked a full month longer than my average, and %@$(*#$%@
was I ready to get. Him. Out. Then he had colic. Joke's on me.
What was it? Burns.
Which kid? Fourth.
is it weird? With my fourth pregnancy, if I even brushed near a hot pan
I'd end up with a burn. FYI: I brush up against pans rather a lot. At
least three times in the last trimester alone.
What is it? Numb hands and arms.
Which kid? Fifth.
is it weird? I'm not talking about falling asleep on my arms and they
go number. The arm I'm _not_ sleeping on goes numb. The doctor promises
this is some kind of nerve/positioning problem from carrying an engaged
baby for, oh, ten weeks, but I don't see why having most of a person
hanging out in my pelvis would make my arms fall asleep.