Friday, December 31, 2010

You Know What's Awesome?

You know what's awesome?

It's awesome when you're not all that upset over something. And so you start recounting it to your husband, and as you recount it, you start getting upset. In fact, you get really upset. And by the time you're done, you're really, really upset over this situation that honestly didn't bother you all that much ten minutes ago. And there you are, fulfilling every bad stereotype about women and convincing your baffled husband that you're totally crazy and/or care far too much about coupon specials.

For some reason this inevitably happens to me on Fridays.

Also fun: forgetting you have a third child until you're halfway across the parking lot.

Also fun: when you suspect that a neighbourhood child isn't allowed to play at your house.

Possibly because her mother is convinced I'm a crazy person. Just like my husband.

Monday, December 20, 2010


Since this unpleasant "boycott Israel" nonsense has come up again, via Lady Gaga flash mobs (I'm not making this up), I thought I'd repost this video. But first, this is why the other side sucks:

And now:

Canadians can fight boycotts by participating in the Buycott Israel program.

Wednesday, December 8, 2010

Less than success

Today was not a great day.

Here I am in the morning, after Firefly woke me. Early. Which is why it's dark. I'm knitting. He's helping. Isn't he helpful?

I couldn't find my purse. So I stick Firefly in a sling and go out to the car to look for it. It's not there. I find the purse. But in the process I drop my keys. I get all of the children ready to go out. We're on the curb. It's raining. I don't have my keys in my purse. I don't have them anywhere.

Did I mention that neither of them would go outside without the plastic castle each got for Channukah? So it's me, three children, two plastic castles, the assorted and sundry things it takes to get the children out of the house, and a pile of packages to deliver.

Genome's got his coat on upside-down.

Munchkin has no coat on. She rejected a coat in favour of her fleece flower-power-style sweater. It has a hood, so it's totally the same as a coat, right?

I can't find my keys, and then Genome trips, falls, and cuts his lip. Profuse amounts of blood. Munchkin starts crying. I start nursing Genome, which makes Firefly angry because he's still sling-side. But Genome is quiet and I'm successfully talking Munchkin down by asking her questions about times she bled, but recovered, as Genome surely will. Unfortunately she starts thinking about having gotten stitches, which scared her, so she starts crying.

I call my mother to come mind the children so I can go inside and find. my. keys. Things are, at this point, very bad.

She brings the kids and puts them in her car to get dry. I get down on the road, right in front of the grill of her car, to look under the cars to see if my keys are there.

Right then, Genome honks the horn five times.

Do you know how loud a horn is when you're right next to the grill of a car?

I start crying. HE starts crying, because he's sorry. Munchkin starts crying because . . . well, any excuse in a storm.

I go inside. Find the keys. They'd fallen out of my purse while I was putting Genome's socks on.

In my mother's car, Munchkin is singing thusly to Firefly:
"Don't cry baby,
Don't cry Firefly,
Mummy and Daddy will take care of you
Mummy and Dadd won't let you float away."

Sunday, December 5, 2010

Question Period

What's an instant way to summon a two-year-old boy?

Take out your lace knitting. Child will appear instantly on your lap.

Genome's hair is in his face all the time, and he won't let me pull it back into a ponytail. The other little boys wear ponytails. Why does mine scream and yell NO GIRL as he yanks out my least feminine attempts?

Lots of Christian blogs are talking about Santa Claus and gift-giving right now. Munchkin asked her Tatty who Santa Claus is. He replied that Santa Claus was a man who was important to the Christian Church and died many years ago.

Yesterday I overheard her telling her little friend that Santa Claus died, but when Moshiach comes, Santa Claus will come back with Grandpa.

A+ theological understanding.