Monday, July 26, 2010

Destruction Junction

See what's happening in this photo? That's a rough approximation of what Genome does to my house.

On Friday I was making the dough for the challah when I (you can see what's coming) went to the bathroom. Silly mummy! I left two children, Genome and Munchkin, dutifully observing the bread dough going round and round in the mixer. They looked quite charming, actually. A sibling activity. I felt that Maria Montessori or Rudolph Steiner would have approved of my morning activity. All we really needed was something made of felt, perhaps, or bark.

When I returned, my mixer was making the most alarming sound, which I will render as "chunka-ca-chunka-chunk." And it was not going round and round anymore. It was stopped. The gears are now exposed, about half-an-inch worth, between where the dough hook is attached and the body of the mixer.

I can still make it stir as long as I keep pushing up the hook, but this makes baking rather tedious.

I don't know what he or she did. I don't know who did it. They both say nothing happened, but Genome isn't much of a communicator and Munchkin's grip on reality is fanciful.

Husband says he'll take it to get fixed. This person seems to suggest I could do it myself. I'm not very handy though. I'm the type of wife who calls her husband to plunge the toilet. I once, in a moment of panic, asked him to come home from a society meeting and unfold the stroller. By "once," I mean "two weeks ago." My adjustment to a new child is always a bit rocky.

I'm distressed. Even if my mixer is fixable -- it has to be fixable! -- it seems unlikely I'll have it ready for challah this week.

Today I had Genome knead the (non-challah) bread for me. This seems only just, because I'm fairly sure that it was he who worked his magic on my mixer. He did a pretty good job, too.


  1. Your last paragraph violates various child labor laws. The authorities will stop by shortly.

  2. I too am the wife who asks Davidicus to plunge toilets....kill spiders....change lightbulb, take out the litter box...and perform routine care on my car.
    I have no shame admitting it either.

  3. Sadly, I am not all that competent at fixing her car, I only learned how to change a car tire in the first year that Stealth Jew and I were married.

    But I have printed up the instructions on fixing the mixer and as soon as she clears up the laundry in the basement next to my work bench I will get right on it to fix it.

  4. as soon as she clears up the laundry in the basement next to my work bench I will get right on it to fix it.

    You are safe, dreamking. I doubt your bench will be exposed in this century.

    But you do enjoy the three little ones and hope to make many many more, eh?