My children spend their time either adoring each other, or conspiring against me. Munchkin appears to have some natural affinity to bread. "Bake" is her favorite game.
The other day she made her own bread (Munchkin: FLOUR and WA-ER and GARRIK and RICE. Don't ask me how the garlic and rice got in there), kneaded it, baked it, and ate it. Which makes her arguably more adept in the kitchen than I was until college.
I put it in the oven and took it out, but the rest was her.
This is all my fault. It's hard to get kosher bread here, so I was baking it all when she was born. Now she intends to live on it -- as well as on any other food coloured white. My daughter: food racist?
I wonder if there are any legends of Munchkins eating bread.
The woodland creatures like nursery rhymes:
One for sorrow
Two for mirth
Three for a wedding
Four for a birth
Five for silver
Six for gold
Seven for a secret,
never to be told
Eight for heaven
Nine for hell
Ten for the Devil's
very on sel'
Showing posts with label woodland folk. Show all posts
Showing posts with label woodland folk. Show all posts
Thursday, January 22, 2009
Wednesday, January 21, 2009
Shira Moments
Shira is my sister-in-law. She's a lovely woman. She's a born-and-bred Flatbush (that's Brooklyn for you non-Jews, Stealth or otherwise) girl. She's frum, and also tidy and well put together. I have never seen a hair out of place. I have never seen her hem fall down. Even her children fall into line.
Once her older girl and Munchkin went on an outing together with my husband, after Gnome was born. Munchkin's cousin was wearing a navy blue dress with a red trim. And navy tights. And navy shoes. With a matching red trim.
There was more organisation in that child's outfit than exists in my entire body.
Munchkin, for the record, was wearing a bright pink jersey dress (ebayed), rainbow tights, pink off-brand crocs with lights in the heels, and a blue sweatshirt her Zayde brought her from Israel -- it said PRINCESS in sparkles across the front.
Anyway. Last night, at three in the morning, I got a not uncharacteristic powerful desire for chocolate. After rummaging around for at least twenty minutes, I found half a pack of candies I had hidden, heaven knows from whom, behind the yeast cultures in the kitchen.
And as I sat there in the dark, munching away, I had that thought again: This kind of escapade? I bet Shira never does this.
Once her older girl and Munchkin went on an outing together with my husband, after Gnome was born. Munchkin's cousin was wearing a navy blue dress with a red trim. And navy tights. And navy shoes. With a matching red trim.
There was more organisation in that child's outfit than exists in my entire body.
Munchkin, for the record, was wearing a bright pink jersey dress (ebayed), rainbow tights, pink off-brand crocs with lights in the heels, and a blue sweatshirt her Zayde brought her from Israel -- it said PRINCESS in sparkles across the front.
Anyway. Last night, at three in the morning, I got a not uncharacteristic powerful desire for chocolate. After rummaging around for at least twenty minutes, I found half a pack of candies I had hidden, heaven knows from whom, behind the yeast cultures in the kitchen.
And as I sat there in the dark, munching away, I had that thought again: This kind of escapade? I bet Shira never does this.
Tuesday, January 20, 2009
Meet the Indigo Children
Meet the Indigo Children. They're mine.
You know the ones. They're the ones the childfree are complaining about.
Is your child a super speshul indigo starseed child like Munchkin and Gnome are? Answer this simple quiz for him/her to find out!
1. Your baby brother has just fallen asleep after three hours of colic. How can you best aid the situation?
a. Be quiet
b. Go play with toys
c. Sing him a Lullaby to the Universe at top volume while leaning over his bassinet
2. You are a baby. Why do you have dirt under your nails?
a. Your mummy didn't cut them
b. Some mysterious, toddler-based explanation
c. You are just that in touch with the earth
3. You are a toddler and almost never talk. For what words do you make an exception?
a. Mama & Dada
b. Eat & Diaper
c. Whatever will get mummy expelled from synagogue play group
4. You are a toddler. Why did you turn your dinner onto the floor?
a. You wanted to make a mess and see mummy turn funny colours
b. You wanted a hot dog with sugar pops instead of whatever you were served
c. The food had a bad aura
5. You are a baby. Why did you poop on your new clean sleeper?
a. You wanted to make a mess and see mummy turn funny colours
b. You have relatively few ways to amuse yourself
c. You were making a statement about your preference for that which is organic and natural over the Wal-mart consumerist soul-sucking vapidity of your mass-produced, gender-limiting blue sleeper. In other words, pooping in your sleeper is how you rage against the machine.
ANSWER
Give yourself a point for each C.
0 Points: Your child is not speshul. Sorry.
1-5 Points: Your child is an Indigo Starseed! Drop him or her off at the door to the local naturopathic/new age store and then scurry purposefully away. The owners of the establishment will be thrilled with the opportunity to care for a member of the coming ruling class.
Seriously though, people believe this stuff. (I've always regretted not believing in New Age stuff, because it looks like a way to make money. Is that Jewish of me?) My personal favorite is The Indigo Files. Are you an adult Indigo? Well, no, it seems not. I don't like cats. But they certainly sound special, don't they?
You know the ones. They're the ones the childfree are complaining about.
Is your child a super speshul indigo starseed child like Munchkin and Gnome are? Answer this simple quiz for him/her to find out!
1. Your baby brother has just fallen asleep after three hours of colic. How can you best aid the situation?
a. Be quiet
b. Go play with toys
c. Sing him a Lullaby to the Universe at top volume while leaning over his bassinet
2. You are a baby. Why do you have dirt under your nails?
a. Your mummy didn't cut them
b. Some mysterious, toddler-based explanation
c. You are just that in touch with the earth
3. You are a toddler and almost never talk. For what words do you make an exception?
a. Mama & Dada
b. Eat & Diaper
c. Whatever will get mummy expelled from synagogue play group
4. You are a toddler. Why did you turn your dinner onto the floor?
a. You wanted to make a mess and see mummy turn funny colours
b. You wanted a hot dog with sugar pops instead of whatever you were served
c. The food had a bad aura
5. You are a baby. Why did you poop on your new clean sleeper?
a. You wanted to make a mess and see mummy turn funny colours
b. You have relatively few ways to amuse yourself
c. You were making a statement about your preference for that which is organic and natural over the Wal-mart consumerist soul-sucking vapidity of your mass-produced, gender-limiting blue sleeper. In other words, pooping in your sleeper is how you rage against the machine.
ANSWER
Give yourself a point for each C.
0 Points: Your child is not speshul. Sorry.
1-5 Points: Your child is an Indigo Starseed! Drop him or her off at the door to the local naturopathic/new age store and then scurry purposefully away. The owners of the establishment will be thrilled with the opportunity to care for a member of the coming ruling class.
Seriously though, people believe this stuff. (I've always regretted not believing in New Age stuff, because it looks like a way to make money. Is that Jewish of me?) My personal favorite is The Indigo Files. Are you an adult Indigo? Well, no, it seems not. I don't like cats. But they certainly sound special, don't they?
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)